FIFA Eye Candy

If anyone cared/noticed, I totally dumped posting any blogs for the weekend. Partly because I was so friggin' preoccupied with World Cup Soccer (wooohoooo), but mostly because I was intoxicated for most of the weekend. Any posts would have consisted of frayed, witsy comments, and ramblings about hot European guys. In England, pubs will either open early in the morning or stay open for 24 hours for futbol fans, but in the States, where they frown upon morning inebriation more than soccer itself, that would be unheard of. The earliest me and my friend could get seats at any sports bar was noon; whereas the morning games kicked off at 11 a.m. Hmm, what's a girl to do? Well, other than start drinking Chardonnay before noon in her pjs whilst yelling German at the television...

Soccer is perhaps the only sport that would make me a morning lush or morning yeller. I get so excitapated that it borders on psychotic. I'm not a sports bar/bar person, but I'm less annoying screaming and slamming my drinks down there than at home. There's just something about soccer. I even notice my female friends go ape shit when we're all watching a soccer game; way more than any other televised sport. Which brings me to today's topic: Women and Soccer, a beautiful union.

I have a few hypotheses as to why women around the world really dig soccer. The first is the attractiveness of the athletes, especially those legs. Soccer players' bodies are more toned and conditioned than most athletes, which I attribute to running up and down that monstrous field. Football players tend to be bulkier, basketball players are taller, less bulky, and soccer players, ahh in the words of Goldilocks: "just right". Not only are their bodies absolutely statuesque, but their faces are equally as gorgeous. I'm not taking anything away from my American athletes, but world soccer offers an array of European/Latin/Universal eye candy that no other sport allows (save the Olympic Games). What adds as a cherry on top are the accents of the players during interviews. It's no secret women love guys with accents. If you want to see me absolutely gaga, just witness me whenever Thierry Henry, David Beckham, or Christiano Ronaldo are on the screen. Mmm mmm Good!! With the combination of beautiful skill on the field, and beautiful features amongst the players, women tend to enjoy soccer games as much as the men folk, but for other reasons.

My second observation, which came to me over the weekend of debauchery, is that soccer is a rare sport in which I can drink wine while watching the game. I've tried watching football and drinking wine; it didn't quite fit. Beer is the chosen drink during sports; wine is a bit too civilized. However, soccer is that elitist sport that I find myself at the bar ordering another glass of wine rather than another pint (which is equally appropriate for a soccer game). Even when I'm yelling and cheering my team on, I still like to retain some of my femininity and gracefulness with a nice glass of white wine.

My final guess at why women love the game is that it is extremely fast paced. I have the attention span of a five year old, so the two non-stop 45 minute intervals almost force me to stay glued to the tube. There are no long elaborate breaks or time-outs that would cause me to leave my seat or channel surf. Most appealing is that it last for two hours, two and a half hours tops. Two hours of drinking with a sport feels a little better than drinking for more than three hours, and allows for a little more comprehension by the end of the game. I've drank during football and basketball, and by the last few seconds of the game (which is nearly half an hour in real time); I was too toasted to even concentrate on the last, climatic plays. It kind of takes away from the game at that point.

The combination of beautiful, European men, the acceptance of wine as a suitable drink, and the fast pace of the game, gives soccer a sense of culture and sophistication that women absolutely adore and easily follow. Perhaps it's seeing Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham donning Chanel sunglasses while rooting on her husband, England's most beautiful midfielder David Beckham, that adds a certain allure to the game. Whatever it is, I'm sold. Don't get me wrong, I truly love the sport in the sense that it is absolutely exciting and fast paced, but it's also just plain fun to look at.


Not~So~Cosmo