Crotch Rockettes

Witizens,

Oh, it's only natural that Will Work For Shoes and Rogue Scholar are in my head, and better still, ahead of time. I was going to post my opinion on the opinion that going "commando" is oh so taboo. Let me begin with what "Commando" is: commando is not wearing underwear. As for myself, I have been a "commando" advocate since high school. I don't wear panties unless I have to or I want to; the latter being not much at all. I wouldn't wear a tit-sling either, but gravity would make that look icky when I'm 35, and that ain't right. I do still love to buy panties because I'm a shopaholic and running out of panties is a signal that I need to do laundry (I think I buy them to avoid doing laundry by now). Anyhow, going sans panties is not some kind of statement or feminist mumbo jumbo, I just prefer no panties for comfort. It used to be that I'd only go commando with pants or shorts, but now it's reached out to skirts and dresses; however, mini anything calls for panties (garters and stalkings can only help the outfit). I do tend to have a sense of relief when I see women herded into Victoria's Secrets because I've been told and retold that men love no panties better than thongs. It's quicker, more revealing, and it shows some flare. Wooooooo!!!

It was yesterday on the radio that I heard two different sides to chicks who go commando. The first was a sound clip of the ladies from The View... and that bull Rosie O'Donnell. The opinion of all combined was that going without panties, this being discussed after Britney Spears' crotch exposure, is horribly wrong and offensive. I not only disagree, but that Rosie gets on my nerves, so I switched stations, and these other DJs (2 of which were men, and 2 women) were saying that the new trend of no panties was disgusting. Then the guys said it was nasty. I was shocked... two different radio stations discussing commando... guys not liking easy access... What?! I switched the station again and opted for classical.

It all became clear when Will Work For Shoes sent me an email (titled: "These Girls Are Nasty) on the aforementioned topic, and IMs between herself and Rogue Scholar; these made all the hype crystal clear. With actresses/songstresses Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan (The Crotch Rockettes) all going commando, it had blown out of proportion. Apparently, the Crotch Rockettes are not only neglecting to wear panties, they want to be photographed stepping out of their limos in mini skirts/dresses, legs splayed, coochie out to be photographed also. And VOILA! A trend is born. Ummm, ewwww and no! I may not want to wear panties for comfort, but I'd find it highly uncomfortable to see pictures of my vag everywhere. Britney just had a baby (and shows off her C-section scar), Paris already has a sex tape and reinvented the "plumber's crack" fad, and Lindsay is notorious for being a whore or a drunken whore; I don't think they are the calibre that most men would want a glimpse at their pussies... A little too loose. The new worry is that young impressionable girls will follow in their footsteps, especially since there is so much hype surrounding the topic, and since The Crotch Rockettes' twats can be seen in magazines and via the internet. Just look at the attention one can get for something so insignificant! I'll just say this to worrisome parents, "Buy them a Victoria's Secret gift card, and don't buy them a limo...."

Whether or not this new trend that the Crotch Rockettes have began takes off, I'll still do my thing. The talk around town is that not wearing panties is unsafe, but I don't see how a thong can ever be considered protection, so again, I'll do my thing. When I'm in a skirt or dress, I sit like a lady, and when I'm wearing pants, it is only then I'll sit like a boy. Sans paparazzi. Sans limo. With a hint of grace. The Crotch Rockettes' new trend will only appeal to those girls who were whorey to begin with; the rest of us will just keep crossing our legs.

Truly,

Not~So~Cosmo