The Ballsies
Good morning, afternoon or evening and welcome to the first edition of "The Ballsies." The Ballsies are awards for making ballsies moves in today's world full of conformity. The bigger the balls, the better. Many things inspired this award. The first would be the brief discussion from lunch yesterday. Yesterday was a suprisingly beautiful day here in Central Florida and we Rogues decided a picnic was in order. There's a great little park close to work. I've been there once and when I was, I saw a squirrel with the biggest balls I'd ever seen on a squirrel (actually I don't think I'd ever seen squirrel balls but something told me his were larger than ever.) I wished out loud yesterday as we walked to the park from the car that we would get to see the squirrel with the bigs balls. We did not. But when we got back from lunch, the Rogue Scholar did all send us "Bigs Balls" by AC/DC (thanks by the way.) And now on to the awards. All winners for this round come from TV.
Biggest Reality TV Balls: Deelishis from VH1's Flavor of Love 2. Now I'm not quite sure why this 28 year-old single mother from Detroit is in love with Flavor Flav, but I am sure that she is. On the most recent episode, Flav decided to split the 4 remaining contestants into 2 groups and take each group on a date, with the prize being a trip to his suite after dinner. Deelishis got to go with Krazy and let me tell you that Krazy is in fact crazy and she got lucky that Deelishis got sea-sick. While Krazy was on deck making out with Flav, Deelishis was bowed over thinking about how she ended up in this situation and if it was really worth it. Ultimately she decided that she DID want Flav and she wanted him all to herself. She let him know at dinner that evening that she can't stand to share her man and that he had better do something to let her know she was there for good reason or she would remove herself from the game. Flav took the bait and took D back to his room. They ended up falling asleep which was actually kind of sweet. So to Deelishis, here is your first Ballsie for putting yourself on the line and risking elimination from a show that most women wouldn't even dream about going on.
Biggest Cable TV Balls: Dr. Christian Troy from FX's Nip/Tuck. If you have never watched this show, I think you are missing out. Season 4 just started a couple of weeks ago and it's as hot as it's always been. This show takes you places no show has ever gone before. We are talking all kinds of kinky sex, steamy meetings, lines being crossed, deception.....good stuff folks, the kind of drama a girl like me lives for. My favorite person on the show is the aforementioned Christian. He's a hot surgeon fresh into his 40s who can't get enough ass. I think he sleeps with someone new every show. Usually ass is handed to him on a platter, but his newest obsession has been resistant (she is married.) On this week's episode, he got her to spill her deepest darkest secret and used that to blackmail her into sex. He told her something like "you're secret is safe with me as long as my secret is safe with you." What secret she asked. "That I slept with your husband's wife before dinner." Oh the nerve, but I love it. They knocked the boots and I bet you she enjoyed it. From next weeks clips, it looks like she can't get enough. So to Christian, here is your first Ballsie for coming up with the most clever way I've seen in a while to get some booty.
Biggest Network TV Balls: Dr. Meredith Grey from ABC's Grey's Anatomy. Last week, we left the show knowing that Meredith was going to have to make a choice between uber-sexy McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) and the super-sexy Finn (Chris O'Donnell.) Tough, tough, tough. Like I said both guys are sexy. In case you are from another planet, Patrick Demspey was the star of the 80's classic Can't Buy Me Love (maybe not love, but how about a night alone with you?) and I fell for Chris O'Donell when he shared his Mad Love with Drew Barrymore back in 95 (he also played Robin in 2 of the Batman movies.) At the beginning of the show she wanted McDreamy (she was at work with him making "eyes" all day) but by lunch she wanted Finn (he brought her depressed friend lunch, how sweet.) She decided to leave it up to chance and flip a coin. We never see what side it lands on. What we do see is both men arriving at the bar around the same time to see what decision she has made. Except she hasn't made a decision at all, she's actually had a realization. Why should she have to choose? Can't she have both? So she tells them she wants to start "dating" both of them, hopes they can handle it, and walks out. Finn asks McDreamy if he's going to bow out and he says nope. As for Finn bowing out, not a chance. Oh this is going to be fun to watch. And so to Meredith, for not letting choices run her life and realizing that to reach her full potential, a girl's got to have options.
So those were my very first picks for my very first Ballsie awards. Please let me know if you've seen any supreme displays of cojones. Great and brave things happen everyday. And as you go out to enjoy your weekend, do this one thing for me. LET THE BALLS HIT THE WALLS.
Brashly and Brazenly Yours,
Will Work For Shoes
Biggest Reality TV Balls: Deelishis from VH1's Flavor of Love 2. Now I'm not quite sure why this 28 year-old single mother from Detroit is in love with Flavor Flav, but I am sure that she is. On the most recent episode, Flav decided to split the 4 remaining contestants into 2 groups and take each group on a date, with the prize being a trip to his suite after dinner. Deelishis got to go with Krazy and let me tell you that Krazy is in fact crazy and she got lucky that Deelishis got sea-sick. While Krazy was on deck making out with Flav, Deelishis was bowed over thinking about how she ended up in this situation and if it was really worth it. Ultimately she decided that she DID want Flav and she wanted him all to herself. She let him know at dinner that evening that she can't stand to share her man and that he had better do something to let her know she was there for good reason or she would remove herself from the game. Flav took the bait and took D back to his room. They ended up falling asleep which was actually kind of sweet. So to Deelishis, here is your first Ballsie for putting yourself on the line and risking elimination from a show that most women wouldn't even dream about going on.
Biggest Cable TV Balls: Dr. Christian Troy from FX's Nip/Tuck. If you have never watched this show, I think you are missing out. Season 4 just started a couple of weeks ago and it's as hot as it's always been. This show takes you places no show has ever gone before. We are talking all kinds of kinky sex, steamy meetings, lines being crossed, deception.....good stuff folks, the kind of drama a girl like me lives for. My favorite person on the show is the aforementioned Christian. He's a hot surgeon fresh into his 40s who can't get enough ass. I think he sleeps with someone new every show. Usually ass is handed to him on a platter, but his newest obsession has been resistant (she is married.) On this week's episode, he got her to spill her deepest darkest secret and used that to blackmail her into sex. He told her something like "you're secret is safe with me as long as my secret is safe with you." What secret she asked. "That I slept with your husband's wife before dinner." Oh the nerve, but I love it. They knocked the boots and I bet you she enjoyed it. From next weeks clips, it looks like she can't get enough. So to Christian, here is your first Ballsie for coming up with the most clever way I've seen in a while to get some booty.
Biggest Network TV Balls: Dr. Meredith Grey from ABC's Grey's Anatomy. Last week, we left the show knowing that Meredith was going to have to make a choice between uber-sexy McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) and the super-sexy Finn (Chris O'Donnell.) Tough, tough, tough. Like I said both guys are sexy. In case you are from another planet, Patrick Demspey was the star of the 80's classic Can't Buy Me Love (maybe not love, but how about a night alone with you?) and I fell for Chris O'Donell when he shared his Mad Love with Drew Barrymore back in 95 (he also played Robin in 2 of the Batman movies.) At the beginning of the show she wanted McDreamy (she was at work with him making "eyes" all day) but by lunch she wanted Finn (he brought her depressed friend lunch, how sweet.) She decided to leave it up to chance and flip a coin. We never see what side it lands on. What we do see is both men arriving at the bar around the same time to see what decision she has made. Except she hasn't made a decision at all, she's actually had a realization. Why should she have to choose? Can't she have both? So she tells them she wants to start "dating" both of them, hopes they can handle it, and walks out. Finn asks McDreamy if he's going to bow out and he says nope. As for Finn bowing out, not a chance. Oh this is going to be fun to watch. And so to Meredith, for not letting choices run her life and realizing that to reach her full potential, a girl's got to have options.
So those were my very first picks for my very first Ballsie awards. Please let me know if you've seen any supreme displays of cojones. Great and brave things happen everyday. And as you go out to enjoy your weekend, do this one thing for me. LET THE BALLS HIT THE WALLS.
Brashly and Brazenly Yours,
Will Work For Shoes
posted by Will Work For Shoes @ 5:59 AM
1 Comments:
At 10:34 PM,
Not So Cosmo said…
Will... Shoes:
You have the biggest, brazen brash balls on the planet! I heart heart heart this award. Two thumbs up from the "Blog Boss". I have to agree with the Ballsie awards; although, I do think Bootz deserves an honorary mention. For a bitch who is CLEARLY fucking out of both pants legs at home to tell Flav that she wants to wait until marriage... CLASSIC!! I have to respect her for not wanting to sleep with that burnt chicken wing and later be sent home. Oh the shame!
That Christian guy sounds like my type of guy. I love that line he used; I would use it, but I doubt I'll ever get the opportunity. Also, I have to sub husband for wife; I like boys and their toys.
Meredith is my new hero, though I'd be hooked on Dr. McDreamy. Besides, hooking up on the job can get one a second Ballsie Award.
Back to Christian, he's mad flippin' hot!!!
As for that rat with fur you saw, well, I'm sure there's plenty of big-balls squirrels in the park... I just hope to never see any. Please keep up the fantesticle writing; it was made for Witsy.
^.^
N~S~C
Post a Comment
<< Home