"Snakes on a Plane"... the Show
Witizens:
So I'm driving along this morning to the Big RED Machine, and I hear on the local radio station that there is a new reality t.v. show inspired by the film Snakes on a Plane. I know yesterday I wrote this country needs a hero, but I had no idea how badly. Perhaps it would be wise to explain the premise of this new evidence of the populations retardation.
To begin with, (imbecile) contestants will be put on a commercial liner plane with the staff and crew safely tucked away, and they will have to survive the 12-14 hour flight with 200 various snakes aboard with them. Sounds crazy enough? No? Okay, well let's just suppose 5 out of these 200 are poisonous, and it is one objective (and perhaps the most important as well) not to get bit by the poisonous ones. If a contestant gets bitten by a poisonous snake, they will be administered the anti-venom, eliminated, and mocked around the world for years to come. (Has the world gone mad?!!!) The prize for this wreckless display of television obsession is an all expense vacation in the destination of the plane... Filled with snakes. It is an option to fly out friends, and the whole trip is paid for. So, in actuality, it doesn't offer a cash prize; just a vacation and snake bites. Ooh, can't forget the 5 minutes of fame also... I always forget that prize.
I hate to stereotype, but just like "Fear Factor", I don't expect to see many "people of color" on this show at all. That's white folk shit. Now, if the show was "Pimp my Plane", I could see it being eclectic, but snakes... oooh no! If I prove to be mistaken, and there is an ethnic contestant, I expect another breakdown in the fashion of Samuel L. Jackson: "I'm so muthafuckin' sick of these muthafuckin' snakes on this muthafuckin' plane!!!"; CLASSIC!!! I could go see it again for that alone. What I can't see is why real people would want to emulate what is too dangerous for actors/actresses and a film crew to pull off. Those weren't real snakes people, nor was it really on a goddamn plane! There are easier ways to earn a free vacation, and safer ways to land yourself on the tele. I promise.
I'm not sure what annoys me most about "Snakes on a Plane: The Reality Show", the premise or the prize. Or perhaps the people. Those who will line up for days to sleep outside to await a chance to audition for a spot next to a make-up artist who knows the casting person who might introduce them to a panel judge who might let them sneak their way to the top of the list so they could spend hours trying to avoid snake bites on a plane. Yeah... I think it's all of the above.
The only reason I would watch 10 minutes of this show is to see someone get bitten. I think everyone is on the same plane.
Truly,
Not~So~Cosmo
So I'm driving along this morning to the Big RED Machine, and I hear on the local radio station that there is a new reality t.v. show inspired by the film Snakes on a Plane. I know yesterday I wrote this country needs a hero, but I had no idea how badly. Perhaps it would be wise to explain the premise of this new evidence of the populations retardation.
To begin with, (imbecile) contestants will be put on a commercial liner plane with the staff and crew safely tucked away, and they will have to survive the 12-14 hour flight with 200 various snakes aboard with them. Sounds crazy enough? No? Okay, well let's just suppose 5 out of these 200 are poisonous, and it is one objective (and perhaps the most important as well) not to get bit by the poisonous ones. If a contestant gets bitten by a poisonous snake, they will be administered the anti-venom, eliminated, and mocked around the world for years to come. (Has the world gone mad?!!!) The prize for this wreckless display of television obsession is an all expense vacation in the destination of the plane... Filled with snakes. It is an option to fly out friends, and the whole trip is paid for. So, in actuality, it doesn't offer a cash prize; just a vacation and snake bites. Ooh, can't forget the 5 minutes of fame also... I always forget that prize.
I hate to stereotype, but just like "Fear Factor", I don't expect to see many "people of color" on this show at all. That's white folk shit. Now, if the show was "Pimp my Plane", I could see it being eclectic, but snakes... oooh no! If I prove to be mistaken, and there is an ethnic contestant, I expect another breakdown in the fashion of Samuel L. Jackson: "I'm so muthafuckin' sick of these muthafuckin' snakes on this muthafuckin' plane!!!"; CLASSIC!!! I could go see it again for that alone. What I can't see is why real people would want to emulate what is too dangerous for actors/actresses and a film crew to pull off. Those weren't real snakes people, nor was it really on a goddamn plane! There are easier ways to earn a free vacation, and safer ways to land yourself on the tele. I promise.
I'm not sure what annoys me most about "Snakes on a Plane: The Reality Show", the premise or the prize. Or perhaps the people. Those who will line up for days to sleep outside to await a chance to audition for a spot next to a make-up artist who knows the casting person who might introduce them to a panel judge who might let them sneak their way to the top of the list so they could spend hours trying to avoid snake bites on a plane. Yeah... I think it's all of the above.
The only reason I would watch 10 minutes of this show is to see someone get bitten. I think everyone is on the same plane.
Truly,
Not~So~Cosmo
posted by Not So Cosmo @ 10:30 AM
4 Comments:
At 7:25 AM,
LionessofZion said…
this is unbelievable....i would love to see this crap just to see if its real.
the only scary part is...
THEY ARE GIVING AL QAIDA NEW IDEAS!
Lioness
::flicking you off with a toe::
At 1:05 PM,
Will Work For Shoes said…
That is the most ricockulous thing I've heard in days, maybe even weeks. I know I'm a sucker for dumb TV, but that show will be avoided like the plague. I can think of much better ways to rot my brain than watching some mucthafuckin idiots and some muthafuckin snakes on some muthafuckin plane. What a sad day for mankind. 2 steps forward, 2 leaps back.
At 10:04 AM,
Rogue Scholar said…
You have GOT to be kidding!! That really is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of. And do you get to know where the plane is headed? What if it is going to Guam or somewhere in the northern regions of Siberia, and you have no idea, but dammit, you are going to win that prize. What a bunch of dumbasses!! I will definatly NOT be watching that show. Although like you said, I would see it to see the snake bites...
At 1:41 PM,
Not So Cosmo said…
I'm so serious, Ladies. I heard this on the radio, and it they didn't say it was a gag at all. The radio people actually started ripping on future contestants for being sofa king stupid. All of your comments had me in stitches; way better than the radio peeps.
You bitches are Wild As The Taliban.
^_^
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