NFL, Stella, & The Heart-Breaking Bar-Hopper
Witizens:
If it's not apparent that I pretty much dig most sports, then I'll plainly state it: I heart sports. I can watch just about any major sport, except golf or fishing... just no. Anyhow, I've taken to going to a sports bar (I won't name drop) that is three minutes away from my house. This is awesome, seeing as though I can get pretty shit-faced and the drive isn't long. I know, I know... drunk driving is soooo awwwwfuuul (unless you trump it by going off on Jews and then the whole pesty DUI thingy is forgotten). I enjoy the simple things in life. I go to das bar. I drink my Stella Artois. I yell, hoop, and holler during the football game. And I break the boys' hearts.
Le Sigh...
This is the problem: when guys are watching a sport, I've advised women to shut up. So, when I'm at the bar, and these dudes try to "holla", I get extremely annoyed. I'm not a total bitch, so if some guy is just shooting the shit about the current game on the tele, then kudos. The moment he starts with the "where do you live...work...what do you do for fun?" bullshit, I then take it as my personal duty to tell them to piss off in the most comical way... for me. For starters, asking someone, "what do you do for fun?" when they are in a sports bar drinking, watching the game, and cheering with glee is the dumbest fucking question. I follow it up with, "Well... this, minus you talking to me...", or something else horribly mean.
I would think this would get them to shut up or leave me alone, but alas, it does not. When a guy is drunk, you really have to drive the point home; I'm learning this and it pains me. I like to be witty, and there's no room for wit when telling a guy you don't want to go home with him. And "No!" works, but it has to be repeated, and I hate being redundant; there's no wit in it. My new tactic is to ask them what a girl should do to get a guy to leave her alone, and after they tell me, I simply do that to them. It works, but I'm usually drunk by that time. My sober mind is a patient mind.
My intentions are not to hurt guys' feelings, so if there is a painless way to reject someone, I'd opt for that. A speedy rejection is also required so that I'm not missing too much of the game. If anyone knows of a sure way to speedily reject a guy without hurting his pride, then I'm all ears. Pretty soon, I will be banned from my current sports bar for unsportsmanlike conduct or unnecessary roughness on the male ego, and that ain't right.
Truly,
Not~So~Cosmo
If it's not apparent that I pretty much dig most sports, then I'll plainly state it: I heart sports. I can watch just about any major sport, except golf or fishing... just no. Anyhow, I've taken to going to a sports bar (I won't name drop) that is three minutes away from my house. This is awesome, seeing as though I can get pretty shit-faced and the drive isn't long. I know, I know... drunk driving is soooo awwwwfuuul (unless you trump it by going off on Jews and then the whole pesty DUI thingy is forgotten). I enjoy the simple things in life. I go to das bar. I drink my Stella Artois. I yell, hoop, and holler during the football game. And I break the boys' hearts.
Le Sigh...
This is the problem: when guys are watching a sport, I've advised women to shut up. So, when I'm at the bar, and these dudes try to "holla", I get extremely annoyed. I'm not a total bitch, so if some guy is just shooting the shit about the current game on the tele, then kudos. The moment he starts with the "where do you live...work...what do you do for fun?" bullshit, I then take it as my personal duty to tell them to piss off in the most comical way... for me. For starters, asking someone, "what do you do for fun?" when they are in a sports bar drinking, watching the game, and cheering with glee is the dumbest fucking question. I follow it up with, "Well... this, minus you talking to me...", or something else horribly mean.
I would think this would get them to shut up or leave me alone, but alas, it does not. When a guy is drunk, you really have to drive the point home; I'm learning this and it pains me. I like to be witty, and there's no room for wit when telling a guy you don't want to go home with him. And "No!" works, but it has to be repeated, and I hate being redundant; there's no wit in it. My new tactic is to ask them what a girl should do to get a guy to leave her alone, and after they tell me, I simply do that to them. It works, but I'm usually drunk by that time. My sober mind is a patient mind.
My intentions are not to hurt guys' feelings, so if there is a painless way to reject someone, I'd opt for that. A speedy rejection is also required so that I'm not missing too much of the game. If anyone knows of a sure way to speedily reject a guy without hurting his pride, then I'm all ears. Pretty soon, I will be banned from my current sports bar for unsportsmanlike conduct or unnecessary roughness on the male ego, and that ain't right.
Truly,
Not~So~Cosmo
posted by Not So Cosmo @ 9:37 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home