Witsy's World Affairs

Witizens,

I tried 3 times, unsuccessfully, to report on the demise of the late (not so great) Anna Nicole, the meltdown of a teen sensation, the bald and Britney Spears, and the woes of a rejected space cadet that no one really remembers the name anyway. Thrice, my computer overruled and found it too stupid to save and/or publish and just kept repeatedly dumping it. I call that prophecy, so I'll leave those topics for the cheesy tabloids. Besides, Witsy is better than that.

More important in the world is the stupidity of world affairs and everyday people. I was recently watching my love bug, Stephen Colbert, interviewing some African American woman. (It will become clear why someone as controversial and lazy as myself didn't just write "Black" instead of African American.) The woman and writer was weighing in her opinion of Barack Obama, the Black Community, and the '08 election. Her view is that the Black community isn't so accepting of Obama as a Black American because his dad is actually from Africa; therefore, making him what she termed an "African-Afican American"... The difference, you ask. Well, according to this chick, Obama's heritage isn't like the heritage of Black Americans, with all the slavery, love for bling-bling, and the great turnip vs. collard greens debate. According to moi, the main difference between African Americans and African-African Americans is that the Department of Redundancy Department will call and ask for its style back from one and not the other. I can only suppose.

Now, I haven't gone out amongst my fellow Black Americans to ask their opinion on this "African-African American" bullshit, but I did manipulate the mind of my Black friend just for sport. When she gave me grief for not voting (I'm soooo Apathetic) and lectured me on us having our first Black president, I simply asked his name. Naturally, she didn't know anything other than he was getting her vote because he's Black. So, I told her his name in the most dramatic hushed whisper, and she immediately changed her vote, exclaiming, "Hell naw! That bitch might be a terrorist." I guess that will count as one less ignorant Floridian vote, but it was a lesson for me in peoples' selective ignorance. How many Black voters will go to the polls jonesin' to vote for who may become the first Black Prez, only to end up scoffing at that Taliban name on the ballots? My guess.... Too many.

My sister believes Obama should have taken a page out of Malcolm X's book, and changed his name a long time ago, that is, if he was interested in politics. She's not known for her level-headedness, but I'm afraid she has a good point. The problem would be that when they dug up the info on his birth name, Barack Hussein Obama, it would have seemed even worse. I suppose this situation fits the old query, "What's in a name?" Would an Obama by any other name really be President? If he wanted to make chicken, watermelon, and collard greens America's new favorite snacks, would Blacks really accept him and all his Africanness? Why were Blacks trying to convince an unwilling Tiger Woods to admit he was Black, but poor Obama who says it loud, "I'm Black and I'm proud!" isn't quite Black enough? Why wouldn't he have the same mindset of any other African American in this country? How much do Black/African Americans really want to take it back to "The Motherland"? Could this issue of race possibly become any dumber? Tune in next time for my edition of Witsy World Affairs, in an attempt to understand our fellow humans.

Truly,

Not~So~Cosmo

Aside:

In truth, I slipped up his name and called him "Obama bin Lada" one night... It kind of stuck. Also, I remember telling a certain Lioness, one of my more political friends, that his entire name was Barack Hussein Obama, and she thought I was joking or I had been watching too much spoof news. Wikipedia, Dude.... Wikipedia....