Britney's-Baby-Bobble-Head
Witizens:
Since I'm on a roll of celebrity bashing, I thought I'd take a special time out and write about the once reigning Princess of Pop: Britney Spears. Now of late, Britney has given up music (thank God) to focus on her family life (thank K. Fed). With her recent semi-retirement, Britney now spends more time being a mother and mother-to-be than making music. However, even at home, Mrs. Spears-Federline can't stop saying, "Ooops, I did it again". How many times can one person drop, bobble, or endanger their infant?! Damn!!! And if this said person is aware she's a butterfingers, why not hire someone to carry the baby around, or invest in baby helmets? What? Anything is better than the current situation.
Okay, I'm not a mother, but I am great with children and quite nurturing. I am also quite the lush who knows how to secure my cup in a way that I never spill a drop. However, when it comes to which I'm willing to bobble or drop: my drink or my baby, I'm willing to drop the fucking drink. Now I know that being a mom is a lot of hard work, but please just drop the cup!! You can buy another drink (especially with millions and millions of dollars), but you can't buy another baby. Sean Preston or my gin & tonic...hmmm......hmm... Britney got slammed by the tabloids after her baby fumble, but somehow she still managed to endanger that poor child even more. Funny, she has a song called "Overprotected", and yet... ahh, nevermind.
Recent aerial photos also caught the #1 Mom...of Pop driving around baby Sean in her convertible sports car without having him properly placed and fastened in. First of all, what the hell is a baby doing in a convertible? Those things aren't baby-friendly. It would take nothing for the baby to go catapulting out of the car. Oh my goodness. If I were being that fucking reckless, I would hope Family and Children Services would be knocking on my door. In addition to her baby hijinks, this silly bitch is pregnant again, and dare I say VERY soon after her first. (Doctors recommend six weeks of no sex, not six minutes.) Okay, if carrying a drink and an infant is too hard to do, imagine TWO infants. Someone please, just spike her drinks with birth control, the world does not need to be overpopulated with the offspring of stupid celebrities.
I know it's a new trend in Hollywood to be preggers, but it actually takes hard work and skill (unlike being a musician these days). If having babies is all the rage this season, I wish the powers-that-be will make horrible parenting "so five years ago".
Truly,
Not~So~Innocent
Since I'm on a roll of celebrity bashing, I thought I'd take a special time out and write about the once reigning Princess of Pop: Britney Spears. Now of late, Britney has given up music (thank God) to focus on her family life (thank K. Fed). With her recent semi-retirement, Britney now spends more time being a mother and mother-to-be than making music. However, even at home, Mrs. Spears-Federline can't stop saying, "Ooops, I did it again". How many times can one person drop, bobble, or endanger their infant?! Damn!!! And if this said person is aware she's a butterfingers, why not hire someone to carry the baby around, or invest in baby helmets? What? Anything is better than the current situation.
Okay, I'm not a mother, but I am great with children and quite nurturing. I am also quite the lush who knows how to secure my cup in a way that I never spill a drop. However, when it comes to which I'm willing to bobble or drop: my drink or my baby, I'm willing to drop the fucking drink. Now I know that being a mom is a lot of hard work, but please just drop the cup!! You can buy another drink (especially with millions and millions of dollars), but you can't buy another baby. Sean Preston or my gin & tonic...hmmm...
Recent aerial photos also caught the #1 Mom...of Pop driving around baby Sean in her convertible sports car without having him properly placed and fastened in. First of all, what the hell is a baby doing in a convertible? Those things aren't baby-friendly. It would take nothing for the baby to go catapulting out of the car. Oh my goodness. If I were being that fucking reckless, I would hope Family and Children Services would be knocking on my door. In addition to her baby hijinks, this silly bitch is pregnant again, and dare I say VERY soon after her first. (Doctors recommend six weeks of no sex, not six minutes.) Okay, if carrying a drink and an infant is too hard to do, imagine TWO infants. Someone please, just spike her drinks with birth control, the world does not need to be overpopulated with the offspring of stupid celebrities.
I know it's a new trend in Hollywood to be preggers, but it actually takes hard work and skill (unlike being a musician these days). If having babies is all the rage this season, I wish the powers-that-be will make horrible parenting "so five years ago".
Truly,
Not~So~Innocent
posted by Not So Cosmo @ 2:09 PM
3 Comments:
At 5:36 PM,
Rogue Scholar said…
Wow, to think that after 30 years, I am actually part of a trend!!!
I was going to comment about this from a mom's point of view, but I figured nah... her antics make me feel like not so quite the mommy failure that every mom feels.
Plus I saw an article about people who taught their 22month old son to water ski... my head is spinning right now with things to comment about that!!
At 6:03 PM,
Will Work For Shoes said…
I've always thought people should be administered a test before they can have children. Britney's lucky I don't run the world, I don't think she would have passed.
At 6:55 PM,
Not So Cosmo said…
Okay, I'm so "serial" (Al Gore's "serious"), I can NOT sit next to you two at any event without laughing at someone, orrrr laughing my drink through my nose trying NOT to laugh at someone. I want to read/hear those random comments that we hide from the rest of the world (like Suri Cruise). It's HIGH time society got a dose of reality, and not so much reality T.V.
Party on Wayne... AND Party on Garth...
^~^
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