Witsy In Wonderland
Witsy Fanatics:
In case you missed me, let me explain that I was on a much needed and well deserved vacation. There is nothing like a road trip to clear (well fog out) your brain. I drove my happy ass to Orlando for the weekend and stayed with friends; the irresistibly cute newlyweds Daphne and her hubby Marcus “Aurelius”. Truly, I could not have hoped for better hosts, too kind they are. The purpose for the trip was to also attend the swankiest baby shower that I've ever been invited to for the expecting "KY" Jacky; kudos to Eryn and Will Work for Shoes for brilliant planning. If not for a certain loud-mouth woman, things would have been ab fab. I won't bore readers with details of a baby shower, there was the typical oohing and aaahing... clearly I'm not a mother.
Instead, I will launch into what I found to be the most confusing of events. It took place on I-95. I was driving back to Palm Beach County, and going well above the speed limit when I had to slow down a little. At that exact moment I also noticed that the 18 wheeler behind was pretty damn close to me; so I sped up to get out of his way. He responded by pulling alongside of me, honking his horn, and motioning for me to let the window down. I did. He then mouthed that "you have a broken brake light in back" from the far left lane, with me two lanes over in the far right lane. I said, "Thanks" and gave the ol’ thumbs up and went back to speeding. It didn't end there. He pulled along side of me again, but this time he mouthed, "what's your name?". What the hell? I think he could tell my confusion, because it mirrored his own. He looked like he didn't know why he was behaving that way either; which did put me at ease because he didn't seem creepy. So, I told him my name (my middle name to be safer...somehow), and he just kept smiling. Finally, I just drove off again, but for miles down the highway, he continued to follow me and try to ride right beside me. Did I forget to mention I never slowed from my 90mph speed? So here we are, two speeding vehicles, one an 18 wheeler and the other a Cadillac (known to rip through other cars), and he's trying to "holla" through traffic.
Now to be honest, Ray (which he told me was his name) was really attractive, and seemed nice and all, but what are my options? Pull over and talk to a complete stranger on the side of I-95? Continue speeding and talking down the highway? Let him ride along side of me until I exited and he followed? Ummm… no, no, and no. Never! I felt awful to keep speeding away from the guy, but I HATE riding next to huge Mack trucks. I think my source of confusion and concern stemmed from Ray trying to holla at speeds of 90+ mph!! Who does that? I think I'm nice and all, and I'm a cute girl (rolls eyes), but God damn... I wouldn't die just to find out my own name. Seriously, I would hope someone controlling an 18 wheeler is paying attention to the other cars on the road, not some chick speeding along lost in her own witsy wonderland. There are many places to try to pick up chicks... driving along I-95 is NOT one of them. Even if it is the sweetest of gestures, the wrecklessness is a bit much and a tell-tell sign of some crazy ass stalkerish behavior to come.
Truly,
Not~So~Cosmo
In case you missed me, let me explain that I was on a much needed and well deserved vacation. There is nothing like a road trip to clear (well fog out) your brain. I drove my happy ass to Orlando for the weekend and stayed with friends; the irresistibly cute newlyweds Daphne and her hubby Marcus “Aurelius”. Truly, I could not have hoped for better hosts, too kind they are. The purpose for the trip was to also attend the swankiest baby shower that I've ever been invited to for the expecting "KY" Jacky; kudos to Eryn and Will Work for Shoes for brilliant planning. If not for a certain loud-mouth woman, things would have been ab fab. I won't bore readers with details of a baby shower, there was the typical oohing and aaahing... clearly I'm not a mother.
Instead, I will launch into what I found to be the most confusing of events. It took place on I-95. I was driving back to Palm Beach County, and going well above the speed limit when I had to slow down a little. At that exact moment I also noticed that the 18 wheeler behind was pretty damn close to me; so I sped up to get out of his way. He responded by pulling alongside of me, honking his horn, and motioning for me to let the window down. I did. He then mouthed that "you have a broken brake light in back" from the far left lane, with me two lanes over in the far right lane. I said, "Thanks" and gave the ol’ thumbs up and went back to speeding. It didn't end there. He pulled along side of me again, but this time he mouthed, "what's your name?". What the hell? I think he could tell my confusion, because it mirrored his own. He looked like he didn't know why he was behaving that way either; which did put me at ease because he didn't seem creepy. So, I told him my name (my middle name to be safer...somehow), and he just kept smiling. Finally, I just drove off again, but for miles down the highway, he continued to follow me and try to ride right beside me. Did I forget to mention I never slowed from my 90mph speed? So here we are, two speeding vehicles, one an 18 wheeler and the other a Cadillac (known to rip through other cars), and he's trying to "holla" through traffic.
Now to be honest, Ray (which he told me was his name) was really attractive, and seemed nice and all, but what are my options? Pull over and talk to a complete stranger on the side of I-95? Continue speeding and talking down the highway? Let him ride along side of me until I exited and he followed? Ummm… no, no, and no. Never! I felt awful to keep speeding away from the guy, but I HATE riding next to huge Mack trucks. I think my source of confusion and concern stemmed from Ray trying to holla at speeds of 90+ mph!! Who does that? I think I'm nice and all, and I'm a cute girl (rolls eyes), but God damn... I wouldn't die just to find out my own name. Seriously, I would hope someone controlling an 18 wheeler is paying attention to the other cars on the road, not some chick speeding along lost in her own witsy wonderland. There are many places to try to pick up chicks... driving along I-95 is NOT one of them. Even if it is the sweetest of gestures, the wrecklessness is a bit much and a tell-tell sign of some crazy ass stalkerish behavior to come.
Truly,
Not~So~Cosmo
posted by Not So Cosmo @ 10:40 AM
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