A Drunken Mad Max & The Chain Reaction

Witizens:

I just can't stop... won't stop... Bad Boy for life! Another celebrity is on the chopping block today, and the axe is appropriately falling on Mel "Give Me Another Drink" Gibson. I'm not even going to pretend that I've never driven under the influence. How in the hell am I supposed to get home from the bar? I've even been pulled over by a cop after I've been drinking (luckily no sobriety check was done!); however, I have NEVER gone on to become a drunken, belligerent, bigoted idiot with the arresting officer. NEVER!!! Of course the press and media are having a field day with this one: Mel Gibson! Drunk driving! And antisemitism! Oh my!!! The Jewish community is highly offended, as they should be, especially since they all thought the Passion was a direct attack on Jewish people. I have a friend (of course Catholic) that said, "He gives all Catholics a bad name"; yet, I beg to differ. I think the only bad name that should come out of all this is one Mel Columcille Gerard Gibson. Since I am both a long time fan of Mr. Gibson and my Jewish people, I am willing to attempt to bridge two of my loves, and most importantly, reach out to Mel via Witsy with a letter. It shall go as follows:

"Mr. Mel Gibson:

I understand that we (loosely used, for I am not baptized) Catholics love to drink and talk about The Passion of the Christ, but your recent arrest made you look more like a Bird on a Wire than a good Christian. Driving under the influence does turn your everyday car into a Lethal Weapon, and for that alone, you should receive Punishment. Furthermore, your rant to the officer about the troubles of the world and how Jews are to blame for it all are Signs that you should have said, "No" to that last Tequila Sunrise. There was a time, maybe back when you were super hot and Forever Young, that the world would've just chocked it up to some young Maverick with a chip on his shoulder and blah blah blah. Now you're just older... and The Man Without a Face to all of us young, ordinary, and proud Patiots. It's very upsetting to me, as a lifetime fan, that you've gone from having quite a BraveHeart, to a low class, ranting Christian wanting some sort of Payback from the Jewish community for the death of Christ; quite the fall from grace.

A few years back, after you directed Passion, the Jewish community had their Conspiracy Theory that the whole thing was one big anti-Semitic movement of yourself and every other Catholic fundamentalist (i.e. your own father, who said that 'the holocaust was a figment of the Jews' imagination'!!!!!!!). And still, I defended the notion that you only got the inspiration from the Bible; after all, it isn't like you wrote the Gospels. After your debacle and recent run in with the law, I am forced to eat these words and come to the realization that you are no longer What Women Want. It would be in your best interest to apologize to the Jewish Community, Israel, and all your fans that you've offended with your antics. To be quite honest, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden, but it could mend your public relations in the end. Please, with all the wars in the world, it is clear that we are in The Year of Living Dangerously, and we need the peace and love that Jesus preached and once tried to prepare us for (no offense to the Jews). Anything less than peace at a time of war is just as much a Lethal Weapon 2 us than war itself.

Truly,

Not~So~Cosmo

P.S. "Melly Mel, the next time you get pulled over by the Pigs, it would be best not to imitate Adam Sandler's character from the The Longest Yard... just a Witsy suggestion... "

Hopefully I can send this to Mel Gibson, but in the meantime, I hope my Witizens can have a good laugh. (Italicized words are Mel Gibson's movie titles... I know... I'm insane.)